every time i return to my hometown of kstovo in central russia i feel detached irritated unfamiliar i feel like i need to leave immediately although I feel this way all the time in different places it is stronger here i need to leave my grandmother’s and then i am leaving my grandmother’s i stop torturing the out of tune piano i am saying goodbye to my grandfather’s and my dad’s funeral photos on top of it and i am going to the street its name can be translated as green i go there and i see the sunset я i am leaving my grandmother’s because i am trying to catch the sunset i know it is going to be the most beautiful sunset it is the most beautiful sunset every time i come

i have come to zelyonaya (green) street не the distant town centre is sounding on the low frequencies here i am walking down the hills and bushes and i am going through some garages there is a forest and a railway not really far it could take 5 minutes to reach the edge i hear the trains sometimes i am standing in the middle of the tall buildings i think i think i think people actually live here and прощаюсь they see these sunsets every day maybe not every day maybe only when the weather is good and the sky is clean or maybe they really see the sunsets like this every day despite the sky the weather the work trouble the war the weather несмотря на the work the family troubles the weather

the war войну

i am writing this text after a long time since these photos were taken now this flaming sky is about the unfolding war even if the people in the buildings don’t know that yet

i see this sunset it is short beautiful in shortness short in its beauty people in the buildings are watching it with me i know it and i feel them it is strange how weather does not know she has to be grieving in turn she continues changing its cycles like nothing’s wrong

one of the russian troops in the lists of captured by the ukrainian army was from around my town he spent his life somewhere close to the city of kstovo where i am now watching this sunset or where i’d watched it in the previous life. i could watch sunsets and he could also

the violence structures are woven into the life here even though the war remains unnamed and it seems to be somewhere far away it is woven into everyday communications into the wondering school kids adults dogs cats rats into the powerless the strongest the weirdest this place is weird for sure my old musical school for kids is filled with violence as well i am standing in front of it for several minutes one feels distant from outer world here but since february 24th the connection to the outer has become tangible however it is covered with fake sense of safety

it is fake-stiff

the false sense of safety here is constructed by those who use this place as a juice pocket like any other small factory town in russia the false safety sense is falsely guarded everyone is watching around not to allow any change but the life is no longer untouchable even if some are watching the sunset from the tall building they receive it with their skin they participate in the flaming without knowing
me too
green street is placed at the edge of the town it remains as is despite the time the weather the family trouble the work the years the family troubles 
the war
it may be denied but it is already changing

no to war нет войне no to police power нет полицейскому насилию freedom to political prisoners свободу политзаключенным

Eli is a musician, animator and artist working with moving images and sounds. She composes electro-acoustic music with the use of an accordion and now tries to reinvent the ways of coping with reality.
Born in Kstovo, based in Moscow